The Boys & Girls Club Story

Four Questions to a Better Game

It’s Spring Break and lots of parents have a respite from toting kids to athletic games.  It’s a break I welcome as I’m a coach on my son Na’im’s lacrosse team.  My 10-year-old is in the middle of his second lacrosse season.  Following his games, the question he gets asked most often is “did you win?”  It seems that’s the only barometer we have for success.  After a recent game in which we lost 7-5 in a hard fought contest, I started to ask Na’im a few new questions over one of his favorite post game indulgences – queso.

Did you have fun?  Emotions ran high during the game.  We played sluggishly in the first half but poured in on in the second half.  We came up short.  I want to keep my pulse on if this experience is fun for Na’im.  We compete as hard as we can, play to win and we want to have fun.  Boys & Girls Clubs of America and the Search Institute identified fun as one of the Five Key Elements to Positive Youth Development.  Participation has to be enjoyable to develop a love of the game.  Na’im is at a stage where he is still learning to train. More than 75% of young people stop playing competitive athletics by the age of 13.  Young people stop having fun when too much emphasis is placed on winning when skill development is still maturing. 

Did you do your best?  This gets to the issue of developing the habit of excellence.  Did you play as hard as you could?  Were there times you let up?  Did you take the coaching?  We have a saying on our team, “In everyday day, in every way.”  I’m proud of Na’im as long as he does the best he can.  If he does his best and his team loses, I’m proud of the effort.  If he doesn’t do his best and they win, I feel he has cheated himself.  Sometimes we can be fooled by success.

What did you learn?  Every experience should be a learning opportunity.  Life is one big opportunity to practice.  To acknowledge what we learn helps to reinforce it.   It also builds our self-esteem when we recognize we’ve made progress in an area.  How often as adults do we overlook our accomplishments as if they were no big deal?  Na’im said he learned “how to run faster.”  I thought it was an interesting comment so I probed a little more. What he meant was he learned how to better position himself on the field and use angles to his advantage.  That slight modification put him in a position to make two passes to a wide open teammate for two scores.

Wayne B. Moss is BGCA's senior director of Sports, Fitness and Recreation.

What could you improve?  My goals for Na’im are simple – to have fun, improve his skills and to have a positive experience leaving him wanting to continue to play.  Identifying areas to improve doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong.  It just means being conscious (another critical skill).  Na’im said he wanted to improve his ability to face off.  Interestingly, through the next week, I saw him watching YouTube videos on face offs.  What’s more, without any prompting from me, he was practicing what he learned while hanging around the house.  By the way, I think it’s more fun the better we are at a something.

Our post game chat proved to be a rich conversation.  Sometimes it’s difficult to get good answers from children.  Maybe we need to ask better questions. 

To Be Healthy or Not to Be Healthy, That Is the Question

I received my blood results from my annual physical just before the holiday break.  To my surprise, my cholesterol is high. (With a growing appetite for rich foods like cheesecake, should it have really been a surprise?)  The doctor suggested I might go on medication to reduce the cholesterol.  I politely refused. However, the news has brought my health into focus like never before.

Like many people, I resolved I would get healthier this year.  While 45 percent of Americans set New Year's resolutions, only eight percent are successful at achieving them, according to a survey by the Opinion Corporation.  Why is that?

And then an epiphany occurred during the holiday break.  With some downtime, I realized I’ve spent a lot of time trying to get fit and healthy. I’ve been in pursuit of fitness as if it were some ephemeral thing.  Then it hit me like a ton of bricks that there’s nowhere to get to.  I simply decided to be healthy.   Like Hamlet, to be or not to be is the question.

Assume the Role
First, I created an ideal picture of health and fitness.  I then imagined myself already being the ideal picture of health.  I’ve transformed myself by thinking from the ideal instead of thinking of the ideal.  This is a slight but profound perspective.  Every state is only a mere possibility as long as we think of them.  Every state becomes real when we think from them.

I’ve realized my entire thought system must be transformed.  The first step was creating and fueling the desire to change.  Then I decided to make the future dream a present fact.   I’ve created an ideal of the person I want to be and assumed that I’m already that person. 

The feeling of health, vitality and fitness has become so vivid.  You will know you’ve attained the feeling when you are possessed by it and the concentrated focus fills the mind and crowds out all other ideas.  It causes self-defeating thoughts to disappear and reduces distractions.  You must be conscious of being healthy if you are to realize what health is.  Health is not created.  It is displayed. 

Be. Think. Act.
Healthy decisions have followed suit. I’ve altered my diet; I’m drinking more fluids; and I’m taking cholesterol-reducing supplements. I’m also physically active six days a week. I registered for a half-marathon in March.  After a night of planned consumption on New Year’s Eve, I woke up at 7 a.m. to get in my 4 mile run.  I didn’t feel much like running after a night of socializing and watching the Possum Drop (a local, folksy New Year’s festivity).  However, the great thing about being is that it allows me to “have” my feelings and not be ruled by them.

Wayne B. Moss is BGCA's senior director of Sports, Fitness and Recreation.

Some may dismiss this approach as fantasy.  However, we know all progress has come from those who didn’t accept the predominant view of the world as it is.  Today there are no tips today on what to do, only a recommendation on how to be. 

Working with my doctor, I will continue to think like an active and fit person. I’ll report back soon on how cholesterol reduction is going!

Have a happy and fit 2013!

Delightful Indulgences: Be Wise About Holiday Food Choices

I spent Thanksgiving Day with family and was a bit disappointed that my sister-in-law Barbara didn’t make her famous bean pie. I could eat bean pie every day. It’s got beans in it so it has to be healthy, right?

The holiday season officially started on Thanksgiving Day.  For many of us that represents a month of eating.  Unfortunately, for most of us, there will be a month of handwringing and feeling guilty about what we ate. We’ve spent most of the year in a quest to “be good” and to do the right thing with our diets. I’ve made an effort to cut down on bread (except pizza), increase my lean meat intake and finding ways to include avocados in my diet. 

However, within the 30 days several things are going to happen to both you and me. We’re going to pack up and visit family. While hanging with your sister in the City of Brotherly Love, you’re going to indulge in a messy, juicy, Philly Cheesesteak with melted cheese on a fresh fluffy roll.  Or you will get invited to the Sunday brunch by friends.  There will be an obligatory holiday party given by the boss.  The boss’ husband inevitably will be a chef and there will be the social pressure sampling all the delectable sauces, cheese balls and desserts.  Resistance will be futile. 

They have a saying in California, “Ignore your health and it will go away.”  It’s an interesting contradiction.  We think we shouldn’t have that piece of Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie with our best friend.  But life is short.  We rationalize to ourselves, “I could get hit by a bus tomorrow.”  And if we go crazy and eat everything that’s put in front of us, life will be short.

We tell ourselves we will get back on course after Christmas, Hanukah, and Kwanzaa (okay, that’s what I tell myself.  I’m sure it’s just me).  To all of that I say, let’s give ourselves a break.  Food, beverage, family and friendship go hand-in-hand.  We are social beings.  Food is a part of our social nature.  Many of our best memories involve time spent with those we love while eating.

You should choose wisely and moderation is the key.  I’ve decided if I’m going to indulge, it needs to be “worth it.”  Feel free to indulge in the apple strudel cheesecake over lunch with your BFF.  However, you may want to pass on the sugar cookies that have been sitting at the break station for the past two days. 

BGCA is helping families across America by hosting the Third Annual Triple Play Fit Family Challenge.  Hundreds of Club families have been participating in fitness and nutritional activities while spending quality time together through the holiday season.  Five deserving families will win a trip to Los Angeles and spend time with Jackie Joyner-Kersee in January. The Triple Play Fit Family Challenge is designed to help families practice smart nutrition, become more physically active and to spend quality time with each other. 

Wayne B. Moss is BGCA's senior director of Sports, Fitness and Recreation.

We debated mightily about if the holidays were the best time to conduct the Fit Family Challenge.  In the end, we all concluded this was an opportunity to support families during the season.  We’re seeing impressive stories coming from around the country about families spending healthy time together.

And since family time is always a special time ... I’m looking forward to Barbara’s bean pie at the Kwanzaa celebration. 

A Giant Feat

Clutch hitting … great pitching … vacuum cleaning fielding.  Playing on a tree-lined street while growing up in Cleveland, Ohio, I would imagine myself in the World Series for hours on end.  I didn’t make it to the big leagues, but I learned valuable lessons nontheless. 

In this year's Fall Classic, the San Francisco Giants used all of the above attributes as they swept the Detroit Tigers.  There are many life lessons to be learned from the Giants triumph. By participating in organized sports, youth often grasp leadership skills, care about something much larger than themselves and develop a “never die” attitude.  Sports help to build character. 

On a personal level, sports helped me to understand that things don’t always come easy and to get along with diverse personalities.  In Cleveland, I attended Collinwood High School which was racially divided during a highly charged time in the late 1970s. My high school football team was winless during my senior year.  Losing can prompt divisiveness, finger-pointing and animosity.  Nevertheless, we fought for each other.  We created trust amongst our team.  Today when things aren’t going well, I think back with fondness to that 0-10 team. 

A few weeks ago, things looked bleak in San Francisco.  It was unimaginable the Giants would win the World Series let alone even participate in it.  San Francisco trailed Cincinnati 2-0 in the opening series.  In a pivotal Game 3 of the best of 5 series, the Giants eked out a win despite striking out 16 times that night.  They won Games 3, 4 and 5 in Cincinnati.  The Giants moved on to play St. Louis in the NCLS.  Left for dead and on the brink of elimination at 3-1, San Francisco went on a tear.  It didn’t lose another game en route to winning the World Series. 
 
Young people can learn much from the Giants, just as I did from my high school team.  Members from Boys & Girls Clubs in Detroit got a chance to learn from the pros prior to Game 3.  Just before game time, some 200 Club members participated in a WANNA PLAY?™ event in which they engaged in baseball and fitness related opportunities.  Members also got an opportunity to hear from legendary MLB great Frank Robinson – the first African American manager in Major League history.

Wayne B. Moss is BGCA's senior director of Sports, Fitness and Recreation.

The event also featured an announcement that Boys & Girls Clubs of America, with the support of Major League Baseball, broke a Guinness Book of World Record with more than 20,000 young people playing tag at multiple venues.

The journey and the win was a sweet victory for the Giants and for Boys & Girls Clubs kids. But the lasting legacy will be those lessons learned along the way.

Legendary Olympians Inspire and Motivate

The world is getting ready for the 2012 London Olympic Games. Are you?  It’s tough not to be thrilled by the exhilaration and pageantry of the Games.  However, my excitement got amped up with a recent visit by four Olympic legends to support Boys & Girls Club members.

On Saturday, July 14, Evander Holyfield, Dominique Dawes, Gail Devers and Jackie Joyner-Kersee helped more than 200 young people learn how to jab, tumble, sprint and hurdle during our recent Triple Play Summer Games sponsored by The Coca Cola Company and the WellPoint Foundation. What a legendary roster of Olympians! During the course of the day, I thought about what it took for each to reach the pinnacle of their sport. Near the end of the event, I wondered who among the young people attending that day might be inspired to become the next Olympian.

The Olympic Games are a perfect opportunity to get young people excited and motivated about their interest in sports and recreation. It’s a golden opportunity since the Games only happen once every four years. Encourage your young people to dream big and work hard by sharing stories of inspirational Olympians. I was motivated by merely the sight of our visitors.

The Champ, Evander Holyfield, teaches boxing techniques and life lessons to Boys & Girls Club members on Saturday, July 14.

Just prior to the event, the Champ walked through the door looking like a Greek God. I was expecting a behemoth of a man. Instead, the Real Deal appeared clad in a tank top, muscles glistening with a sleek appearance and I thought “He’s not that much bigger than I am … except his muscles are bigger … he doesn’t have any body fat … and he has a 31 inch waist.”   I immediately thought I should do some sit ups and push ups.

The four-time heavyweight champion shared how a Boys & Girls Club staff member told him at age 8 he could one day be boxing champion of the world.  I was amused as this warrior recalled how he went home to ask his mother if it was “okay” for him to be the heavyweight champion when he grew up.  She said yes but told Holyfield he would have to pay a price to accomplish his dream.  Momma Holyfield knew you have to “put feet to your prayers.”

Devers was faced with serious medical challenges.  She shared how doctor after doctor misdiagnosed her Graves disease - a thyroid disorder.  She experienced weight loss, migraines and vision programs. The five-time medalist’s health was so threatened that doctors considered amputating her feet, but after treatment she returned to compete and won gold medals in 1992 and 1996. 

Wayne B. Moss is BGCA's senior director of Sports, Fitness and Recreation.

Each Olympic athlete has a story. It’s a story of setting larger than life goals, having someone to believe in you, overcoming obstacles and never giving up.  Use the time before and during the Olympic Games to inspire young people to greatness.  Before the Games begin, go to the United States Olympic Web site at http://www.teamusa.org and have young people read about the athletes competing. 

Parents can take your children into the backyard and practice cartwheels, sprinting or any number of games.  If you have programs with lots of children, hold your own mini Olympics equipped with medals. You never know who might be the next Holyfield, Dawes, Devers or Joyner-Kersee!

Tag. You're It!

If I close my eyes and think back to my childhood, I can hear the words “tag -- you’re it!”  It was a time that seemed magical when all I had to do was play.   

This week Boys & Girls Clubs of America is encouraging kids to play big-time by breaking a Guinness Book of World Records for the most number of people playing tag.  Starting Thursday, April 19, at 6:30 p.m., members in Clubs and youth centers around the world will play the time-tested game. 

BGCA is no stranger to world records.  Last year, we set a record for the most people doing jumping jacks (or star jumps) simultaneously. Some 20,425 Club members participated, shattering the previous record.

Help us celebrate National Boys & Girls Club Week by playing a game of tag with friends and family.

This year we’re at it again!  As part of National Boys & Girls Club Week (March 15-21), BGCA will embark on this fitness initiative with its Clubs across the country through the organization’s WANNA PLAY?™ program. This program, supported by Major League Baseball, encourages kids to get active and become nutritionally aware.  

BGCA’s attempt to break the world record is to bring attention to the importance of young people staying active and living healthy lifestyles. The WANNA PLAY? program is designed to improve kid’s overall fitness through physical activity and nutrition education.  It also teaches the fundamental skills of baseball and softball through fun and enriching games.

Tag and other chase games don’t require lots of equipment.  It doesn’t require fancy clothes to get active.  Kids will have so much fun playing games that they won’t even realize they’re getting “exercise.”  Those active kids will be happier and healthier young people.      

For lots of kids, biking to the playground or playing dodge ball has given way to playing the latest video game or watching television.  Children and adolescents need at least 60 minutes of physical activity daily.  Our young people need role models, so get active yourself and make physical activity a family affair. 

Wayne B. Moss is BGCA's senior director of Sports, Fitness and Recreation.

Nearly one-third of children and teens in the U.S. are obese or overweight.  Children can avoid many diseases by adopting and maintaining healthy habits early on.  Being physically active every day is important for kids, and it can be through activities as simple as playing tag.  Young people living healthy, active lifestyles put them on a pathway to a GREAT FUTURE.

Remember, play is the work of kids and adults. So join us ... you're it!

Do Hovering Parents Help or Hinder on the Playing Field?

“You don’t want to be last,” I admonished a lacrosse player who seemingly was not putting forth his best effort.  “You can always tell when a coach’s son is on the team,” another coach chimed in.

Parenting lessons learned on the playing field.

It’s true.  The player I was “encouraging” was my 9-year-old son Na’im.  He was bringing up the rear in a sprint drill.  My blood was slowly starting to boil.  How could my son, who days earlier was awarded a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, be one of the slowest kids on the team this particular day.  I heard a voice in my head say, “He should be one of the fastest kids out here.”

Truth be told, the situation said more about me than it did him.  What was it that got my blood boiling?  If I’m honest with myself, it made me feel like a failure as a parent.  It made me view Na’im as a possible failure.  I had that sinking feeling that my son’s life might not “turn out right” if he doesn’t give his best effort – always – every time – perfectly. 

Before my wife and I had a child, I used to cringe when I heard the over the top football dads or soccer moms being out of control.  Now I understand.  It’s not about living vicariously through your kids, although sometimes that happens.  It is the weight of unrealistic expectations of perfection.  Parents have a picture of ideal children and parents. When those expectations are not met, and they rarely are, there is upset and frustration.

I’m like all most parents.  My kid is smart, gifted, witty, athletic, strong, compliant, coachable, fast and the list is endless.  I want to help him maximize all of those attributes.  I think if my son listens to me (and all of my wisdom), he will have nothing less than success.  When he doesn’t listen, it’s like casting pearls before swine. 

This is the age of helicopter parents.  Can you imagine the stress our kids feel?  It’s non-stop correction.  It’s no wonder that most young people quit participating in organized sports by the age of 13.  Young people have the challenge of being perfect.  It’s the challenge of living up to the huge expectations of their parents. 

When I was a kid, we organized our own games without a parent in sight.  We found the baseball gloves.  We picked teams equitably.  We settled our differences.  There was no one there reminding me to hold my elbow up while at the plate.  There was no one to exhort me to run faster.  There was no one shouting incessant instructions. 

Wayne B. Moss is BGCA's senior director of Sports, Fitness and Recreation.

There’s no wonder that skateboarding and other extreme sports are gaining popularity.  Where else can a young person make a mistake and get acknowledged?  After trying a double half-pike and wiping out, coming close to losing a few teeth and some broken bones, the response from an on looking friend is likely to be – “Dude, that was wicked!!!”

Parents, give your kids – and yourself – a break.  As best I can tell, we turned out okay without helicopter parents.

Can Fun, Active Play Make You Smarter?

For most of my life, all I’ve really wanted to do was play.  As a child, most of the adults in my life preached to me about how I would have to put aside my interests in sports and games for more serious matters.  What if I my instincts were right all along?  What if play wasn’t frivolous?  What if play made you smarter?  New information suggests that while young people are exercising their bodies, they may be exercising their brains.

Two new research finding indicate physical activity improves young people’s ability to perform better in school.  Dutch researchers reviewed 14 previous studies examining the link between physical activity and academic performance.  The findings were recently published in Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine.  Additionally, the Center’s for Disease Control conducted a literature review which found that out of 50 studies, more than half showed a positive association between school-based physical activity and academic performance. 

Some of the research showed that concentration, memory, self-esteem and verbal skills improved in students who participated in physical activity.  Reasons for the link are unknown.  However, regular physical activity causes increased blood flow to the brain.  More oxygen helps with better brain function. Additionally, physical activity releases hormones which improve mood.  Finally, regular physical activity reduces stress levels within the body making it easier to concentrate on academic pursuits. 

Bobby Fischer, arguably the world’s all-time chess champion, recognized the link between increase physical activity and reduced stress and fatigue.  In 1972, he trained like an athlete in his preparation for his championship match against Russian Boris Spassky.  At the height of the Cold War, this was a huge media event.  Bobby recognized the stressors of being engaged in mental activity over an extended period of time as well as the physically draining spotlight this match up created.  

Pent up energy and stress may be one factor in dropping standardized test scores and increased acting out in school.  One of the unintended consequences of No Child Left Behind is the elimination of gym and recess from many schools.  Critics argue that gym takes away study time from the three R’s – reading, writing and arithmetic.  Ironically, these actions may be counterproductive.  For more on the importance of gym, go to http://www.aahperd.org/naspe/publications/teachingTools/whyPE.cfm.

Wayne B. Moss is BGCA's senior director of Sports, Fitness and Recreation.

My colleagues and I help develop High Yield Learning Activities for Club members.  These are activities with a developmental purpose.  If academic learning is incorporated with physical activities, young people will benefit both ways.  BGCA, with the support of the Coca Cola Company and the WellPoint Foundation, has released a new guide – Back Pocket Program Hints, Too - for Clubs that is chocked full of high yield activities.  

It’s time to get back to the four R’s – reading, writing, arithmetic and recreation. 

Six Tips to Keep the Weight Off

We’re a few weeks into the year and many of the resolutions made are a distant memory.  You may have picked up a few pounds from social gatherings, grandma’s delectable cake or the leisurely pace of the holidays.  Unfortunately, for many the few pounds picked up over the holiday is more than a slight annoyance because it’s on top of the weight picked up through the year.    

What should you do for yourself and family to drop the unwanted pounds?  Over the years I’ve learned there are hundreds of things you can do for weight loss.  However, I’ve also learned that there are only a half-dozen things that make the biggest difference.  Below you will find six things to incorporate into your lifestyle.

1. Move More.  Adults should get a minimum of 2 hours and 30 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity a week.  Children and adolescence should get 60 minutes of daily physical activity.  The activity can be in as small as 10 minute increments.  Adults, teens and children should also engage in strength and bone-density building activity.  For more information, go to http://www.health.gov/paguidelines/default.aspx.    

For healthy eating tips, visit http://choosemyplate.gov!
2. Get 5 a Day:  According to the CDC, about 1 in 4 U.S. high school students ate fruits less than once daily and 1 in 3 students ate vegetables less than once daily in 2010. Most students are failing to meet the daily fruit and vegetable recommendations.  For kids who are finicky eaters, hide veggies by pureeing and adding to some of your favorite recipes.  For example, add pureed carrots and zucchini to your spaghetti sauce.
3. Eat Less:  Eliminate trans fats (animal fat). Reduce the amount of sugar, sodium (salt) and refined grains you consume such as crackers and chips.  Sodium is hidden in foods like soup, frozen meals and breads.  Check labels and choose items with lower sodium content.  Ensure half of your grains are whole grains.  Additionally, switch to fat-free or 1% milk.
4. Manage Your Portions:  Enjoy your food but eat less of it.  Avoid “supersized” portions.  Reduce your waist size and save money by sharing a plate when dining out or having dessert. 
5. Avoid fad diets:  Notice none of the above items suggested the grapefruit, cabbage or protein-only diets.  While healthy, there were no recommendations for consuming super foods like berries or bee pollen.  Keep it simple.
6. Drink plenty of water:  People can live only about one week without fluids.  Water helps us digest food, regulate body temperature, move blood around our bodies, carries nutrients and oxygen to cells, removes toxins and other waste, keeps our joints from rubbing together and protects our tissues and organs.   Fluid is used up daily for all the jobs it does. Our bodies lose even more when we’re exercising or perspiring.   It’s important to drink enough fluids so that our bodies have enough to function properly.

Proper nutrition is critical components of preventive medicine, and can help to reduce the risk for the three top killers - heart disease, cancer, and stroke.  It can also reduce the onset of type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure.

Wayne B. Moss is BGCA's senior director of Sports, Fitness and Recreation.

BGCA has helped more than one million youth get fit, eat smart and improve their social skills through our Triple Play program, made available through the generous support of the Coca Cola Company and the WellPoint Foundation. Because parents play such a critical role in the development of a child’s physical and social well-being, BGCA and its donors produced a Parent’s Game Plan.  Feel free to use activities at home with your family.

Remember, keep it simple and get moving!